Skunked

I must have watched a million (actually just 2 or 3 but stick with me for dramatic effect) YouTube video’s that made it look so easy to catch speckled trout on a fly rod. One guy even said, “finding speckled trout is the hard part, if you find them you are guaranteed to catch some.” Well guess what dude?! I found myself in a flat surrounded by jumping trout and they just wouldn’t hit. I tried shrimp patterns, leeches, minnows, and dry flies until I had used every last piece of leader I had.  Kevin, the fish-eating Anhinga next to me was the only one catching fish. I caught nothing. The fish were relentless with their taunting though. One fish actually jumped over my kayak and let out a little squeaker just to rub it in.

There is nothing worse than the feeling of failure, which I guess is why failing can be such a great opportunity to grow; because it is something you never want to feel again once you’ve felt it. Giving up is so easy! It’s like falling down a huge hill, tumbling head over heel, and just letting it happen. On the other hand, grasping at every tree, root, rock or strong hold to stop yourself and then fighting with every ounce of your being to get back to the top is much harder.

When I fail, I feel like a fraud of a human. I constantly talk down to myself and lose hope in my ability to do better next time. Do you ever feel that way? I believe the negative self-talk is just me trying to convince myself that it’s ok to quit. Am I really bad at being a person? No. Do I do everything wrong? No. Do I have bad judgment? No, well, not always. Am I the worst? No way. So…, what can I do? Recognize the desire to quit. That’s all…, just recognize it. Because it is in that moment of hopelessness that you can rise above and stand proud again. If you know your choice is to rise up or fall down a giant crevasse of self-pity and despondence, you will rise.

You don’t always catch the fish, but let’s keep trying, and don’t forget to BTK. Kids are lucky!